Alexander Clapperton (deceased) is the chief guide on the Witchery Ghosts & Gore Tour. We found him on George IV Bridge ... well, we found his name in the Edinburgh Room of the Central Library on George IV Bridge, where we do much of our local research. We very much liked the sound of his name, 'Clapperton', and the fact he'd been a Director of the Edinburgh Western Cemetery Company. He passed the 'looking for an historical character with an interesting name who can conduct one of our walking tours test' with flying colours.
The term jumper-ooter (or jooter, for short) was invented by our co-founders Robin Mitchell and Colin Macphail on a warm summer's night in June 1984. In those ancient pre-jooter mullet-haired days of auld, Robin and Colin, resplendent in the full Highland garb, conducted personal walking tours of Edinburgh's Royal Mile.
It's not every day you find eight pumas looking at you across the counter of our little shop, but that's the experience our counter-ghouls had this week when stars of the Argentinian national Rugby Union team (nickname: Los Pumas) arrived to meet my colleague Alexander Clapperton and friends for a tour.
As every ghost's favourite night of the year rolls around again, we have cooked up a delicious deal with our friends at three of the Grassmarket's best-loved eateries.
As my gravelly-throated ghouls claw their way gingerly out of the rubble to face another day, I pause to take stock of another memorable night out for the Cadies. It won't surprise anyone that All Hallows' Eve, Samhuinn, or whatever you care to call it, is by far the most exercise our creaky corpses get all year round; I think we covered that last time.
They say old ghosts never die; they just fade away. Actually it's more a case of their ectoplasmic bodies wearing a bit thin and threadbare, at which point it's time for me to wistfully throw them over the hedge at the bottom of the garden, and begin the process of replacing them.
Yes, we're hiring again! Anyone who has had the "pleasure" of meeting one of our famous Jumper-Ooters up a dark Old Town alleyway in the dead of night will know that they are a singular breed: fearsome, implacable... and a bit silly at times.
Could this be you?