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Gothic

Skull votive tea light holders

When these arrived, one staffer exclaimed: "At last! Shot glasses designed for Scottish people!"

Yet while these Gothic glass vessels might indeed serve to hold a generous measure of uisge beatha, that is not their intended purpose. These vasculiform votives are in fact for holding tea lights (not included).

Perfect for casting eerie flickering skull shadows around your crypt/bedsit/debating-chamber.

£8.99

Hieroglyphic Skull

It seems it wasn't just the Celts who were given to post-mortem whittling of their fallen citizens' brain-cases. And since the ancient Egyptians' hieroglyphics were also their language, these skulls are in fact messages from the past.

We hired an Egyptologist to research the markings on this cheery fellow, which yielded the following:

2 pints of semi-skimmed

168 litres of asses' milk (need a bath)

1 yoghurt

£19.99

Gothic Roses goblet

While a death is always a time of loss, let's not forget that it is also a horticultural opportunity. When we go to sleep in the earth, the earth benefits, and erelong new life bursts forth. (OK, a bunch of roses will never replace uncle Fred, but you have to see the bigger picture.)

£24.99

Sugar Blossom Fairy figurine (Rosalia)

One's first instinct when glimpsing Rosalia sprawled on the ground might well be: "Eek! This poor woman's been assaulted and elaborately tortured! They even stole her shoes!"

However, you'd be wrong, as this sort of thing is quite common down Mexico way, at least once a year. Rosalia has just flown in from Guadalajara, and her wings are knackered, so she's just having a wee rest. She'll be fine in a minute.

£27.99

Melisandre Figurine

She's got red hair and a haunting stare, but that's where the similarity with her Westeros-based namesake ends. This brooding little fairy has been in the shop a whole week and hasn't demanded anyone be burned at the stake, so we don't think she's related.

Melisandre is approximately 11cm tall (seated), and remains seated because she just had a bad landing and sprained her ankle.

£24.99

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